Venom: Good I guess?

Venom, more like average am I right? No? Stop making jokes? got it, I’ll just go into this movie. For those who don’t know the story of Venom, basically an alien goop called the symbiote comes to earth and attaches itself to reporter Eddie Brock (in comics its first with Spiderman but Sony doesn’t want to mention that) and they go do some shenanigans and tom foolery, becoming the anti hero Venom. Tom Hardy plays the main character in this film. I love everything this man stars in, but this was a little disappointing to watch. He was fine overall, but as an actor with his caliber it should have been portrayed better. I wouldn’t put much blame on Tom Hardy as I would on the writing of this movie, which I will get into shortly. Riz Ahmed plays Carlton Drake, who is basically if Elon Musk and Gary Vaynerchuk were one person and somehow had a Doctorate in medicine. I felt as if he was just giving his lines and then immediately leaving to go do something that’s probably more important like sailing, playing the new Spiderman PS4 game, or maybe starring in a better project. At one point a new symbiote attaches to Drake called Riot who should have in all fairness dusted Venom without breaking a sweat, but doesn’t for some reason. The dude was basically superman and was taking out by a d list superhero like Blue Beetle or Nightwing. I call bullshit. Also, Michelle Williams was just there, nothing more or less. This is where the writing and overall plot of the movie really shows it flaws.

I think the writing of this movie from a story and character development standpoint suck real bad. I’ll give the movie credit, the first half of the movie I was down. They showed Eddie Brock as the reporter he was shown in the comics as and set up why the symbiote would attach to him, since he was a down on his luck journalist who just wanted to show the world what this giant company and Drake really did. Also, the they showed the symbiote as more of a horror element and when Venom was in the mind of Brock it seemed to want to play up the evil of the symbiote and lean more to the origins in the comics as being a bad guy. Boy, does that change real quick. Venom and Brock basically become a buddy cop trope and played into more humorous beats. I didn’t hate it, but it was such a weird tonal shift and was a little bit of a let down. I’m sure the PG13 rating doesn’t help in its favor. Michelle Williams was also written soooooooo poorly for what she could have brought to the table. Instead, they tried to make her the new Kristen Dunst version of MJ from Spiderman. Don’t lie to yourself, looking back she was not good in that movie and you know it. Also, when she is possessed by Venom and Venom basically makes out with Tom Hardy, like what the actual hell?

The real issue I had with this movie outside of bad writing, weird editing, and what seemed to be a old school comic movie in 2018, is the fact of Spiderman not being in the film at all. The whole symbiote story line and why Eddie Brock becomes venom outside of being taken over is Spiderman. Black Suit Spiderman is one of the most iconic storylines from the comics and Venom is a foe for him is because of Brock’s hatred of Spiderman/Peter Parker. I don’t think I could draw up any type of origin story without including the most famous web-slinger of all time, since their entire history are intertwined with each other. In that retrospect I give them props for at least having a story with a beginning, middle, and end and doesn’t cookie cut its origin from a goop coming from space, unlike some comic movies that ignore the entire origin of the character ( cough cough *Fantastic 4 from 2015* cough cough). Honestly, Disney should just buy out Sony’s rights with the spiderverse characters and make good movies with some of my favorite characters instead of having another mess that is Sony trying to make a shared movie universe with all these characters and not use Peter Parker/Spiderman in any way. They won’t get him back anytime soon since Marvel has finally given us the best version of a Spiderman movie in the past 18 years.

So yea, Venom is an average movie with some glaring holes. It works for the first half, then quickly loses it steam by the end credits. I hope that the sequel does address these problems and FOR GOD’S SAKE HAVE WOODY HARRELSON BE A MURDEROUS MONSTER AS CARNAGE AND CUT THAT DEAD POODLE THEY CALL A WIG OFF HIS HEAD. MY CHRIST JUST HAVE HIM BE BALD.


LIKE WHAT IS THAT? IT’S LIKE THEY SCAPLED RONALD MCDONALD AT STUCK IT ONTO HIM. WOODY BUD WHAT IN THE WORLD YOU ARE A GREAT ACTOR WHY ALLOW THIS TRAVESTY??? Alright, small rant over. In the end, we can all agree, its still a better portrayal of ¬†Venom than that awful movie known as Spiderman 3, so at least there is some hope for this potential franchise going forward.

Score: Meh and nothing more.

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